Current Project: Doctor in Petticoats
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This weekend was supposed to be a “me” weekend. My dh made plans to go on a road trip with a friend. Well, due to the weather they didn’t go. When I found out, I told my dh I was still watching my movies. He said no problem.
I popped the first one in Friday night. The dh sat in his chair reading the Capital Press, an ag newspaper. The movie was “Pride and Prejudice” with Keira Knightley. I’d tried to watch it when my oldest daughter was here, but this is a movie with dialogue that needs to be heard and with grandkids making noise and playing I felt lost. When the dh started to talk to me, I said, “You’re not here.” He laughed and went back to reading his paper. Then slowly the paper lowered, inch by inch until it sat in his lap, and he was watching the movie as intently as I was.
When I paused the movie to go to the bathroom he said, “Boy, I’m glad you have to go, too”. The end result being, he was as engrossed in the movie as I was.
Afterwards, I asked him if he liked the movie. His response. “I had to see if she got the guy or not.” LOL It’s funny but I’ve noticed over the years, his taste in movies has slowly turned from violence and car chases to my kind of movies. So in his aging he has become more of a romantic and less the guy out to prove he is macho. Which is fine by me. He even opens a door once in a while which he NEVER would have done if his friends were around in the first ten years of our marriage. It would have made him look pussy whipped to his friends. But now he goes out of his way to do gestures like that whether his friends are around or not. He’s outgrown the peer pressure and the need to prove he’s a chest beating, virile man all the time.
I think this is what younger women find attractive in older men- they (the older men) are comfortable with who they are and don’t need to prove their worth all the time. They are attentive and young women find that romantic. I know if someone told me thirty years ago when I married my dh that he would appreciate romantic movies and get more excited over our son finding a girlfriend than me, I’d have laughed at them.
Has anyone else noticed this about their spouse or maybe father or grandfather? Do most males tend to get more romantic as they get older? Or is my dh an anomaly?
10 comments:
Paty, glad to hear your dh is evolving!
Mine has always been a romantic, more than me. When the kids went off to college they both related that after a few months they were stunned to figure out he's the nice parent. (I knew that all along!) Did you enjoy the movie?
My husband has always been far more romantic than me. I'm the one who forgets when our anniversary is and how long we've been married. He's always been chivalrous, but he's not an alpha guy. He depends on me a lot, maybe too much. He got me a card and candy for V-day and I got him... nothing. I'm such a bad wife.
As for movies, my husband won't stand for bad language and gratuitous sex and violence. Never has. He's not much of a movie person and if I have one playing, he'll watch for a while, get up and do something, come back, ask what he missed and I glare at him. He's starting to enjoy romcoms with me because they're light and have happy endings. He loves happy endings. 8^)
Alice, Yes I enjoyed the movie and am thinking about watching it one more time before I give it back to my daughter this weekend.
Karen, That's interesting- I've finally got my dh remembering to bring me something on Valentines. He only remembers our anniversary because his friend and my friend happen to have birthdays the same day and if I'm getting a birthday gift for my friend, he knows he needs to be thinking about something for me! LOL
LOL, Paty! I think most guys tend to be too self-absorbed to think about anything besides what affects them directly and at that very moment. Jim is just wired differently. But my daughter's fiance drives her nuts with his romance-challenged ways. She's a bit demanding anyway, so if she doesn't get that enormous bouquet of flowers on her birthday (Her: He should know I want flowers! Me: Did you tell him? Her: No, he should just know!), she has a mild hissy fit. But I've seen them together and he's so head over heels, but he simply doesn't get it. Clueless is putting it mildly with this one.
Personally, I love may/December romance pairings. Many of my favorite books have this pairing.
But, that wasn't really your question. My DH is 7.5 years older than me, and I think it's a good match. He does get mellower with age.
I'm not sure, Paty. I think all men are wired as differently as women are. I don't think it's fair to classify them any one way. My hubby isn't so much a romantic movie fan, but he has always been very romantic in the little things he does, like opening doors for me, making sure my seatbelt's tight on the plane, bringing home things he knows I'll appreciate (like dinner or a good bottle of wine). We're both thoughtful in different ways, but I will say it was that little extra attention to detail that really attracted me to him. And that's not a bad trade-off for me. When he wants to watch Saw IV, I'll just go in the other room. ;)
Reading about everyone's dh makes me wonder how I fell for my knuckle dragging caveman. LOL Not really. He was just not brought up in an environment that was soft and fuzzy. And I think that is why it's taken him this long to realize he does have a softer side. As with all of us. A lot of how we are is how we were brought up.
Wavy, I think an older man is the perfect match for you.
Congrats Eli, on having a thoughtful hubby.
Jim has always been more romantic (as well as more sentimental and nostalgic) than I am. He's getting even more thoughtful and more articulate about his appreciation of me as he ages.
He likes romcoms as long as the man is responsible. He hates movies with infidelity or with men who are violent toward women. He gets bored by movies that have all female characters or only a few minor male characters.
Jim got me a dozen red roses and a box of dried cherries coated with dark chocolate (EZ Orchards) for Valentine's Day. I bought him a bouquet of Valentine balloons (Dollar Tree) and took him out to lunch at his favorite place (HomeTown Buffet).
I hope you all had a great 3-day weekdend! See you tomorrow at the meeting.
My poor husband. He's a total romantic. The entire time we were dating, and clear up until we had too many kids and no money left, he used to bring me flowers of all kinds or send them to me via local florist shop delivery guys. He's the reason I know what a gardenia smells like. Whenever he came to pick me up to go "out" and brought me flowers or something, he always brought something for my mom, too. That amazed me. He's very thoughtful.
He remembers all the dates of importance and I never do. He's always opening doors for me and our kids, and he gets upset when I open one before he can get to it.
He loves to snuggle and watch chick flicks and "romcoms" just as much as things like the Matrix or HellBoy. He loves to take me shopping for nice clothes for me and for himself, again--when we used to have money--LOL and he can play sports, video games, watch sports and be a total guy just like the rest of them, but he's always respectful and chivalrous to women and girls. He's very kind to everyone, actually. That's probably why he's very well liked. We can't go anywhere, even out of STATE, without someone he knows popping up to say hi to him. It's freaky!
Now that I think of all this, I feel bad that I'm not a softer, kinder wife and mom. LOLOLOL
Oh, and he goes GROCERY SHOPPING with me even though he HATES it. :)
I don't know where he came from, but I'm glad he found me and kept me.
Barbara and Piper, you are lucky women!
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