Current Project: Untitled RS
Status: Coming along
Status: Coming along
A couple years ago, someone commented to me that romance novels can ruin a marriage because women compare their husbands to the heroes and find them coming up short. I blinked and asked if the woman if she was serious. She nodded and told me of a friend who'd left her husband for a bit. The friend believed her romance novels contributed to her need to leave her husband. He just wasn't as good as the men she was reading about. HUH?? "Is she crazy?" I asked after I picked up my jaw. "It's not real. It's a book!" I can't get this conversation out of my head. Are there readers who can't separate reality from the pages? I started thinking...what if real life was like a romance novel? There would be definite pros and cons.
Pros: fantastic sex (Did anyone not think of this first?)
incredibly hot man
perfect bodies (no post-baby tummy)
he only has eyes for you
international travel
good financial means
sex in unusual places (tropical beaches)
Cons:kidnappings
serial killers (or bad pirates for the historical fans)
being shot at
often on the run from the law for a period of time
lover holds a dangerous job (cop, federal agent, good pirate)
arranged marriages
sex in unusual places (Yes, I know, but think of sand)
other women jealous of you because of your incredibly hot man
Can anyone add to my lists? And have you heard of this issue with readers before?
11 comments:
LOL- I haven't heard that, but my daughters refused to read my books at first because they thought it would have intimate things between their father and I. I told them both point blank this is fantasy- my fantasy hero and in no way does it equate to the truth.
But- I can see where some people without common sense would believe there was a man out there who stacked up against the heroes in romance novels. It goes right up there with some of the stupid warnings on items you purchase. The warnings are put there because some idiot did what they are warning against.
PROS: You pretty much nailed them that I can think of. Chivalry for historicals(still trying to get my dh to hold the door open for me more than once a month.)
CONS:historicals: all those layers of clothing.
Kendra -- well, speaking as someone who has been caught up in worlds created by other authors I can understand confusing reality and fiction, but to the extent you describe? Nope.
I'll add:
PRO: injuries heal much quicker with very few set backs; scars are dashing, not disfiguring
CON: Every single friggin' conversation you have with your lover has to move BOTH your life journeys along at a brisk pace AND foreshadow what's going to happen next -- (and how about those black moments?)
HAHAHAHA! This is great! I don't think it's to that extreme - but I could see a woman (such as me) having some wishful thinking or minor disappointment if my man were way off the hero-behavior mark.
More Pros:
Kids are seen but rarely heard.
No one has to work out to say svelte.
More Cons:
Someone's always dying (must be thinking about my books here. LOL)
No one ever goes tot he bathroom. Have you noticed that? I think at some point your bladder would explode.
Love the sand comment, Kendra. I got a good chuckle out of that one! But to answer your question, no, I've never heard anyone say romance novels damage relationships, in fact, I've heard the opposite. If anything, they put women in the mood.
Paty, that cracked me up about your daughters! And I'd thought about the historical clothing. And body odor. And dental care.
Alice, I thought about mentioning having to follow a character arc. lol. And black moments would definitely suck. Hopefully there'd be just one....
Eli, all the kids are such joys in the books. Well-behaved and darling. No problem child. And yes people are always dying. Especially the H/H's parents, grandparents, etc.
Ooh, fun post! And can I just say... That woman who separated from her husband had to have had WAAAY more problems than the fact that her life didn't match a romance novel. It sounds like she and her husband need to open up the lines of communication and she needs to let him know what her desires are so she's not frustrated. I'm just sayin'. *shrugging shoulders*
Anyway... In a lot of ways, my real life does imitate the romance novels I normally read. I have a very romantic, good looking, chivalrous husband who's just as apt to lift me up against a wall and ravish me as he is to be soft and tender under the covers. Hope this isn't TMI. LOL
My DH is very kind, loving and goes out of his way to please me and make sure I'm happy. Not just as his woman, but as the mother of his children, too. But also, he's very much a man and does those yummy man things that girls love so much. He can ride motorcycles/quads and looks sexy as hell doing it; he goes hunting and kills things and is a crack shot with a real gun, he's flown airplanes, he fixes computers, he's great with a sniper rifle in Halo, LOL!! He's very well rounded. I don't know what the name for his type of hero is because he's not totally alpha and he's not beta. He's just who he is and it's so perfect. Well, for me anyway.
It was nice to find out, when I started reading romance novels, that my DH is very close to an ideal hero, other than the fact that he's not super wealthy like in novels. LOL But he's all those other things, so I guess those are the reasons we've been married for over 20 years and are still in hot, crazy-mad love with one another.
Is anyone puking yet? *grin*
Pros: Everyone has enough money. No one ever has to fart or have diarrhea. No H/H ever has bad breath.
Cons: I'm with the rest of you on the cons. Loved yours, Alice!!
And you know what? People can have a romance novel life if they both give and take equally. Where there is selflessness there is love and peace. :)
Piper! Hang on to that man! Sounds like you snagged a good one. The sniper rifle skill far outweighs superwealth.
I think life does imitate romance novels to some extent. The best novels - and the best relationships - are a constant negotiation for intimacy and control.
PRO: Since I'm the writer, I would be in control of what everybody said, what everybody did, and the happy ending. Yay!
Oh, and when I got depressed I would probably become interestingly thin instead of reaching for the nachos and sour cream.
CON: Sometimes life is best when it's messy.
Virginia, I love your con!
Post a Comment