Taking Chances

Current Project: TEMPTED
Status: Chapter 5

I have the head cold from hell that has now moved into my ears, so apologies if this comes out conjointed-sounding.

I turned in my revisions last night for ENTWINED. My editor already went through them and said I nailed it. She loves this book. More than MARKED. More than any of my Stolen books, which totally surprises me. Being the author, it's very hard for me to step back and see it from someone else's point of view. To me it's a giant mess. Maybe because the writing process for this book was so hard - I started it last spring, then got sick and almost died, then tried to get back to writing and couldn't until October. I feel like I flew through the end of the book trying to get it done, and now it's hard to look at it objectively. And I tackled some rather controversial issues, took some chances I was sure my editor would cringe at. So to hear her say she loved it? Totally floored me. Since my CP and beta reader both said the same thing (that they loved it, that they cried, that it was their FAVORITE book of mine to date), I'm inclined to believe (hope!) maybe they're right and I'm wrong. But still, I worry.

Writers are worriers at heart, aren't they? We worry that our book won't be good enough to snag an agent. That it's too different or similar (take your pick) to other books to entice an editor. That when industry professionals say they want "the same but different", it's such hogwash we will never sell. When we do sell, we worry that readers won't give us a chance. That our print runs won't be big enough, that the publishing house won't put money behind us, that our sell-through will suck. We worry our editor will hate the second book we've already toiled over, that he/she won't buy anything else, that our career will be over before it begins. And we always worry--no matter how many books we write--that THIS book will suck big green donkey whompers, readers will figure out we are a total farce and it will be the absolute END to our writing career.

Yeah. You can tell I don't spend time worrying. Those doubt demons can take over when you least expect it. And it's THOSE doubt demons that dictate what we write. Let's face it. It's a thousand times easier to write the same old romance just like every other author than it is to take chances, to write something different, to put a new twist on something that's been around for a while...to tackle controversial topics. But think about your FAVORITE books. I bet if you looked closely you'd see those books stayed with you long after any other BECAUSE there was something in there that was so different, it grabbed on to you and wouldn't let go. That author took chances, and it paid off. Take Barb, for example. That vampire story she wrote that has now garnered her a request from one of the biggest agents out there is proof that experimenting outside the box and taking chances WORKS.

ENTWINED is my "taking chances" book. While MARKED was a new genre, something outside my comfort level, it was really in ENTWINED that I pushed the limits of what I'm used to writing. My characters, their back story, the things they do and the world they live in...I took chances with all of it, and I think (hope!) it paid off. At the end of the day, I don't want to be just another author readers are ho-hum about. Love me or hate me, I want readers to remember me.

How about you? Have you taken a chance that has paid off? Or is there something you really want to do but are afraid to try?