When females or males, my age or younger, call me "honey" and "dear", I grind my teeth and don’t say anything even though I want to give them an earful. I can take it from an older person say seventy or older. It doesn’t feel so much like it’s just being thrown out there to placate me. However, I do like my characters to use endearments toward family or the person they are attracted to. That is why my characters, always the hero, use a term of endearment for the heroine. And it’s never in the beginning of the story. It’s after they’ve interacted and are getting closer. My problem is coming up with an endearment that fits not only the heroine, but is something the hero would say/think. And I don’t like to use the same ones over and over again.
But endearments don’t have to be your typical ones listed above. Don’t laugh, my dh calls me "cupcakes". Not sure why it’s plural or what it means, but when he calls me “cupcakes”, it usually means he’s in a good mood. I tend to call him “sweetie”- not sure why, it’s just what I’ve always done.
12 comments:
First, a pet peeve, if you'll indulge--hate "ladybug", as in, "You're so cute, ladybug." Makes me feel ugly. It's usually women who use it on other women, too.
I like endearments just between the hero and heroine after they've known each other a bit, as long as they are not slinging the endearment around to everyone. (Okay, "darling", maybe "sweetheart", sound a bit old fashioned, but babe, hon, cupcake (grin)--I have no prob with.) To me, it shows that the hero sets the heroine apart from his normal acquaintances and vice versa, even if the love part hasn't come yet.
Just my op.
Flo
I don't find casual endearments offensive, even when delivered by strangers. I realize it's just a pattern of speech, almost a lazy way of moving things along, and doesn't mean anything so it doesn't bother me.
Like you, I often have the hero or heroine use a fond nickname and I always try to make it something that seems organic to that man or woman. I also try not to repeat them, a tall order. Once and awhile, I'll have a man use Baby or Babe, if it fits him. Sometimes he's just being snarky when he says it like "Ah, Babe, grow up." Sometimes romantic. I usually find them using things like "Cupcake," and "Sweet Pea" when talking to a child, or "Sport," or "Little Guy," something like that if it's a boy. Most of time I stick with a name, either full or shortened and frankly, more often that not, they don't use names at all, they just talk. I don't like books where a person uses a name when they're the only two people engaged in conversation. It comes across as writer interference. "Charles, pass the sugar." "Okay, Henrietta." Nope.
I love that your husband calls you "Cupcakes." That's so cute!!! I have a friend whose husband calls her "Dear". She likes it but it sounds stilted and old fashioned to me. Not to them, though, so who cares? I use "Honey."
Fun blog!!!
Flo-- Ladybug???? Is that a southern thing???? I've never heard it, but I think it's cute!
LOL.
I once had a contest judge tell me babe was too cliche (I got marked down on it). As I call my hubby babe, I was personally offended.
Like Alice, it doesn't bother me when strangers use casual endearments. I also look at it as a lazy form of speech. My husband doesn't us terms of endearment, and the ones we've given the gremlins just haven't ever stuck.
I do use them in my writing. And, like the rest of you, I try to come up with unique ones. The heroine in my first (soon to be released) book calls the hero slick (he's a thief). He calls her querida (he's Puerto Rican). The hero in my second release calls the heroine Kit-Kat (her name is Katherine), but she doesn't have a term of endearment for him. And in the wip? So far no terms of endearment between the H/h, although the hero and his CPD partner use them in a derogatory way. Hero calls his partner Goldilocks (partner is Asian American guy) and the partner calls the hero wife (because he's a nag).
LOL, Paty! What a fun discussion. I don't mind having endearments lavished on me. It's cute, and I don't ever take it personally anyway. Kids and young people use it on each other and everyone else, and I think it's fun. It's only meant to be friendly. There's this adorable girl who works at my favorite coffee hut in Bend and she always calls me "Girlie" and sometimes "Sweetie." I think it's adorable.
My husband and I don't use endearments with each other. I suppose if we did, it would probably be Babe. I call my kids sweetie. I use Babe for my characters.
My ex-husband used to call me Pickles, which I hated. I'm sure that contributed to our divorce. My ex-monster-in-law called my girls ladybug when they were little.
Flo, I've never heard the endearment "ladybug". And I'm not sure I'd like it either! LOL
Alice, I tend to give children in stories nicknames too, which I've done to my kids as well. Angie is Ang(j sound). Matt I've always called Matty. Christy has been crusty- a name that her siblings gave her. LOL And Anthony was Ant-man. I tend to shorten the names of my nieces and nephews as well. Maggie is Mags. Izzy is Iz Not sure why.
Eli, I like your endearments/nicknames- I've done that before between characters and I think it makes them more real. I don't have a problem with Babe if it's done in the right way- not derogatory. Like the way Ranger uses it when he talks to Stephanie Plum. LOL
Karen, I don't mind people I know using a nickname or such, but perfect strangers just irritates me.
Guess it ranks up there with being hugged. It's my space and I don't like others in it unless I give the okay.
Thanks for your thoughts on the subject ladies!
Alice--"Ladybug" -must- be Southern, I'm agreeing. I never heard it in my first 25 years in NJ. (I won't tell you what we called each other up there--just kiddin'.
Eli--I LOVE the Kit-Kat endearment/nick. So cute. And I call my husband babe, too. And my 6'3", 300 lbs son Little Guy. I love the endearments.
Karen--so do you think that ladybug just means "little" and not bug-shaped? (I have issues, can you tell? --grin)
Great topic!
Flo
Casual endearments from strangers don't really bother me, either, since I just chalk it up to habit on the other person's part. I figure they probably call everyone "dear" or "honey" or whathaveyou.
I hadn't really examined my use of endearments between characters, but I think the endearment needs to fit the characters or it becomes a jarring note that throws me out of the rhythm of the story. I don't mind "Babe", but I wonder if the reason some people think it's too cliched is that it's been used by so many writers--and possibly put in the mouths of characters who wouldn't use it? (hope that made sense)
Personally, I tend to call my husband "sweetheart" or "sweetie"; he calls me "hon" or "Bentz" (my maiden name). But my favorite is when we refer to each other as Mr. and Mrs. Cranky when one or both of us is irritated about something--or in my case, when I've forgotten to eat and get, well, cranky. When that happens, one of us usually says, "Uh-oh, Mr. (and/or) Mrs. Cranky are in the building." (our own weird play on "Elvis has left the building") Neither one of us can keep from laughing or stay in a bad mood once we start referring to each other this way.
Hey, Paty!
I had to look back through a few stories because I couldn't remember! Guess that should have been a clue that I don't use nicknames or endearments a lot. I have a secondary character in one story who calls everyone by their last name. One of my heroines uses shortened versions of her children's names. I also have one hero who calls the heroine "cherî". Like Alice, my characters most often just talk and don't use names or nicknames at all.
I usually just ignore casual endearments from strangers. Maybe because my mother many times called by my sister's or aunt's names. And sometimes she went through all of us kids before she got to the right name. We just waited patiently until she got to the right kid. And many people can't pronounce my name anyway. "Dearie" is much less grating to me than "Mrs. Mispronounced Name" or "ma'am." I'm not Mrs. anyone and I start looking around for an old lady when someone calls me "ma'am". LOL!
Most unnerving, though, was I worked with a woman who called everyone "sweetie" or "babe" or other endearments and I started picking up that habit. **cringe!**Kind of like picking up a Texas drawl when you're around a Texan. I wondered what in the world was coming out of my mouth. Yikes!
As others have mentioned, if characters are going to use endearments, I prefer they fit the character's personality and are something special to the relationship between the characters.
Fun post!
So far, I haven't used nicknames or terms of endearments in any of my WIP's. Hmm, I don't know why. I must rethink the idea.
I don't mind if people use a term of endearment when it's meant as a term of endearment. A friend once turned to me in front of a group of my friends and said, "And Miss Betty Crocker here..." The tone stung like a well placed left handed compliment.
For years my mother has called her friends 'kid', as in, "Kid, you're not going to believe what happened to me today." At some point in my adult life I heard her rattle off the endearment to me. I took it as a high compliment. I wasn't just her daughter, I was also one of her best friends.
In my hometown our pastor's wife called all the females, young and old, 'Love.' That single word spun like sugar from her lips. To this day I can hear her tender tone and it still warms every vessel in my heart.
Met my goal so I'm back!
Deborah, I think the ones that you have that are special with your mate are the best kind. It makes the bond all that much stronger for having something that is completely yours and you know exactly what the meaning is behind it. My husband and I have something like that too.
Genene, That's funny you went back and looked through your books! LOL I just remembered I call all my grand kids "sweetie" when I'm around them. I worked at a stationery store for a while when all the kids were in school. The owner, then in his late sixties, called everyone "dearie".
Lori,
That's what I mean about using them. Both instances your mother and the minister's wife- they were used to mean more than calling a person something other than their name because you don't know it.
Post a Comment