Current Project: Promo for STOLEN HEATStatus: Thick in the middle of it.
We've talked a lot about writer's block - what causes it, how to get around it, strategies writers use when the words just won't come. I think we've all been in a place where getting words on paper is like making my kids' clean up their rooms - a near impossible feat even on a good day. Up until recently, I thought I knew what writer's block really was. I now know I was wrong.
It's been over six weeks since I last wrote anything more than a grocery list. Luckily, my next book isn't due until December 1st and I'm close to the halfway mark in that book already, so I have lots of time to finish it. I haven't been putting pressure on myself. Two weeks in the hospital from an infection that almost killed me has reminded me not only that I'm mortal, but that I need to slow down and enjoy the process of life more than I've been doing. So for the last few weeks while I work on resting and regaining my strength, I've been spending more time with my family, reconnecting with my mom (who has been an angel and has come in nearly every day to help out with the kids), and appreciating things I took for granted before - like the way my backyard smells on a dewy summer's morning when the sun is just rising, or the way clean Egyptian cotton sheets feel against my skin when I go to bed at night, or the sweet sound of my kids' laughter.
Of course, one can only "relax" so long before real life sneaks back in. Last week my editor sent me line edits for STOLEN SEDUCTION (Jan, 2010). It nearly killed me but I got them done. And let me tell you, it was worse than making my kids' clean their rooms. I didn't have to rewrite much, but I had to "think" writing, and I discovered not only that I have writer's block right now, but that my muse seems to have taken off for Hawaii and doesn't want to come back.
I've heard writers talk about traumatic life events changing their writing. This is my first experience with it. Right now I'm in promo mode for STOLEN HEAT, and I have a bunch of blogs I need to write and send off for my blog tour. I'm secretly hoping doing so will tempt the muse to come back, but I have no idea if it will work or not. At night I try to think about my WIP as I fall asleep, but invariably my mind wanders to other things...like what really happened that week I was in ICU which I can't for the life of me remember.
Have you ever experienced a traumatic event that halted your writing? I'm not talking about normal writer's block, I'm talking about something major that impacted your life.
4 comments:
First of all, (((HUGS))) to you.
I think major life traumas and changes are a chance to really tune in to what's in our hearts and souls, and to realize that's right for others might not be right for us.
For you, this major experience was almost dying. For me, it was Reiki training, which was a spiritual rebirth. But it is leading me on much the same journey you're taking:
"... to slow down and enjoy the process of life more ...spending more time with my family, reconnecting ...and appreciating things I took for granted before..."
Sounds like you're right on the mark to me! And the writing will come when the time is right.
Ugh, I'm so sorry to hear about your blockage. That totally sucks because I know how much you love writing and what a huge part of your life it is. But girly, you need to take this time to heal and regroup. Genene's right, it will come back when it's supposed to.
Things happen for a reason and we just have to be patient and work through them to find out what we're supposed to be learning or changing in our lives or the lives of those we touch.
Patience grasshopper. ;)
I've not experienced any traumatic event/s that blocked me because all the traumatic moments of my life happened before I started writing. However, I'm easily distracted, so all the little things in my life now cause my Muse to head for the hills. (Actually, when she sees my 5 kids she boogies outta here laughing manically and pointing at me.)
Seriously though, losing that week of your life has obviously left a huge impact on you. Be sure not to bury the feelings and emotions from it; work through it and let your mind/body heal at its own pace. And please know how thankful we all are that you only lost a week of your life and the memory of it; not your ACTUAL life. If you would have died, oh man would you have been in BIG TROUBLE MISSY!! (((Squeeze))) I hate to think about it. Get well my precious friend. And no worries, you'll be writing like crazy again before you know it! :)
Yes, I have been where you are. In fact, I've been there three times and halfway there at least another two. My muse has checked out repeatedly. She won't take phone calls, she won't respond to frantic pleas, she just vanishes.
And then eventually, she comes crawling back expecting me to be all happy she's around again and though I might give her the cold shoulder for awhile (manifested by fitful starts and awkward phrasing, I eventually throw her a party, she promises me the moon, we hug and make up, everything is dandy -- until the next time.
If you think of your muse as the creative entity that resides in almost everyone, as a free spirit ready to soar at a moment's notice, etc... then I suppose it's not surprising catastrophic incidents create such a rift. They're like cement overshoes.
One more metaphor and then no more, I promise! If you cut your arm really badly it takes stitches. It hurts. It bleeds. Eventually it scabs. The stitches come out. The scab falls off and there's a red welt. Eventually the welt fades and it's perhaps a faint white line. In the end, the faint white line almost disappears leaving your skin just as vibrant and lovely as it was before it was hurt.
Everyone else said it better and you know in your heart it's true -- you need time. Your muse will slink on home again before long.
and P.S. -- this blog was beautifully written as was your response to Ann last week. The muse may be sipping Mai Tai's on a beach, but the talent and skill that fuel her are alive and well.
Knock on wood, I haven't suffered anything as traumatic as you did. I've had some things happen in my life that were hard to swallow, but I used my writing as therapy. I didn't have a project that had to be done, I wrote books that exorcised the feelings the events brought out in me.
I agree with everyone- the experience you had is the most traumatic I think a person can have and it will be slow coming back not only physically but emotionally and the muse comes out to play or hides depending on your emotional state.
It sounds like you're doing the right thing by spending time with your family and embracing the little things. That's a good step in making your muse happy again.
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