Whatever, just get 'em and pull 'em in.
Here it is again, folks, my old favorite blog topic: The Hook. I'm not sure why, but I can never get too much of Better Beginnings. Hope you feel the same.
I read an interesting article in the August issue of Writer's Digest. It was based on the premise that many brilliant manuscripts never get read beyond the first couple paragraphs or pages because the openings fail.
This article goes on to explain how a really effective beginning foreshadows the ending, introduces the story problem -- the inciting incident that starts the big red ball rolling -- and may also raise one or more story questions that suck the reader into the vacuum of your work.
In Eli's entry to Great Beginings, or whatever-the-heck that contest was called that she won, I counted three story questions raised. Bravo. It definitely made me want to read more, which is what we writers want and need from readers, right? Write.
Since many of us are heading off to our retreat this weekend to write and lounge around the lake, I'm not posting a particular question. Please feel free to discuss and share hooks that work for you and some that don't, if you wish.
As for me, I can't wait for tomorrow and a weekend spent in the company of my writer friends. Woo-hoo!
17 comments:
What no hook from you??? Tsk, tsk!
Here's one of my beginnings:
Water filled Dove’s lungs, dragging her deeper into the murky depths of the lake. The pain in her chest was nothing compared to the despair in her heart. When the Evil One took her body, she never dreamed he would also take her from her people. Shame and humiliation motivated her to take this drastic action.
The ache in her lungs rivaled the agony in her heart for the life and people she no longer felt a part of. Sinking deeper into the icy lake, the pain in her chest subsided as her body became numb.
She would soon be free.
Another beginning-
Her knuckles turned white and her eyes shone with unshed tears. “These can’t be your parents,” she said in a strangled whisper.
“Why can’t they be my folks? Because their too pretty?” Zeke Halsey watched the woman he planned to marry, continue to stare at the tintype in her shaking hands.
“No. My pa said that man was his brother.”
I particularly love openings in sci fis. By nature, this genre tends to be the most ambiguous. So, I'm almost always in the dark at the beginning of a sci fi. Which I love. I just tried to copy and paste the opening page from Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale. Unfortunately, I was unsuccessful (boo). But, wow, I wish I could write like that! :)
Have a fun weekend, Danita!!
Ah, you're very sweet, Danita. Thanks for the compliment. ;)
I struggle with hooks. Is it strong enough? Is it weak? Am I including enough questions to keep a reader reading? I think you can make yourself nuts sometimes with hooks (I know I have).
This is the opening of my GH finaling ms (and the book my agent is shopping):
The floor descended at least twenty feet.
Surrounded by utter blackness, Lisa Maxwell tipped her head so the cone light from her helmet could slide over the interior of the cave and momentarily wondered what the heck she’d gotten herself into.
I went around and around with this opening. Originally it started differently, but my CP pointed out the first line I have now was really the hook and I should use that. So I did. My agent read this several times and liked the hook. I've never heard anything about it not being strong until the Daphne this year. I entered this ms. And while my scores were really high and the judges all liked the opening chapter, one judge said, "I love all of this, EXCEPT that first line. Change it and you've got a winner."
(That's me with a big L on my forehead.) You can't please everyone. What one person thinks is a strong hook, another will think is weak. It's all subective.
I didn't post a hook because I was trying to get the rest of my packing done, Pati, plus had some other have-to-get-done things and didn't have any spare time Thursday. I also left out a couple of important points I wanted to make with this post.
I'll try to add them in the comments section tomorrow, so please check back. Also, maybe I'll post a favorite hook or two.
Retreat was great. I made my goal of getting through final polish on my ms. Woo-hoo!
What do you all think about next summer's retreat? We're thinking about Sisters or Beltnap Hot Springs, which is more the halfway point for those of us in the valley, and those on the other side of the mountain.
I have a first line that I want to use to start a novel some day:
My cat is scared of my underwear.
Aside from it being true, I think it's a real attention-grabber. 8^) I'm not sure at this point what would follow. I'll have to think of something.
That first line or paragraph needs to accomplish so much to attain reader interest, which is why I think we labor so hard over making it just right. Here's the hook for my newly completed (and now submitted--yay!) novella:
Claire Ballard stared at the envelope in her lap and touched the crisp edges that had yellowed with age. Even the rough handwriting that spelled her name had faded to a milky blue. When had her father written it? Probably not long after he abandoned their family in Scotland for the United States fifteen years ago. For a treasure hunt of all things. And now he was dead.
This next one is for an urban fantasy I've been working on in fits and starts over the past couple of years. Man, I'd love to get this book done by the end of summer. Sigh. Positive thoughts, positive thoughts...
Chalice stood on a wooden vegetable crate to reach the dust-caked window. She’d been standing there fifteen minutes, ever since the Jeep full of men had arrived. Only two men were visible now, the others dressed in military camouflage having slouched off in various directions, believing themselves unseen. But Chalice had seen them quite well. She noted each stitch on their clothing, every whisker on their unshaven faces, even the color of their bootlaces.
Pati, Elli, thanks for sharing your hooks. Fun!
Barrie,
thanks for visiting and posting. Sorry your cut and paste hook-to-share didn't work. I don't read much Sci-Fi, but I'll have to check some of the beginnings out to see what you mean.
Love your rhino with your name.
For those of you who haven't read about Barrie's recent success, she just sold her first book -- a middle grade mystery, called 'I so Don't do Mysteries' in a 2-book contract. The story is about a girl who helps unravel the mystery of a rhino heisted from the zoo. The ghost of her deceased mother helps her solve the crime.
Right, Barrie?
Congrats again, girl. I am so danged pumped for you. When is the release date?
Hey, Danita, you arrived home safe and sound. 8^) How long did it take you guys? I drove past you all at Devil's Lake when you were taking pictures.
Belnap Springs or Sisters would be perfect for a retreat! Mmm... the hot springs sound fabulous. I've never been there but have been wanting to go for a long time.
Great blog post. I love studying strong hooks. At the retreat, Lindy was saying she's been reading a lot of first paragraphs lately to get a good idea of what other authors are doing with their hooks. Amazon is great place to study hooks of books through Amazon's "sneak peak" feature. 8^)
Thanks for sharing, Karen. And loved the (real) story you shared this weekend of your cat and his fear of your panties. Ha!
Okay, a hook I've thought of, but don't have the rest of the story for, like you -- is:
"Every family has its secrets. Mine is no different."
Here's another:
"I'd like to say the meaning of life came to me on waves of harp music, but the way it actually came was like a flood of bratty little kids' high-pitched screams."
Okay, that one still needs work. I'll try to do better tomorrow after I've showered and slept in my own bed.
Did that make me sound like a dirty sleep-around? I'm not. Really. I've only been to a writing retreat this weekend.... Ha!
Congrats, Barrie, on your two-book contract! Woo-hoo! That's so exciting. It sounds like you write paranormal mysteries, one of my favorite genres. I started a yahoo group in 2002 for paranormal mystery authors and we're always welcoming new members. It's a quiet group of a little less than 400 members, and if you're interested, just send an email to paranormal_mystery-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Yes, Karen. Safe and sound. Rhonda and I got back to my place around 3:30. Not sure what time we pulled into Becky's, where I left my SUV.
Fun weekend.
Either place for a retreat sounds great to me.
Danita, I totally understand. I took a nap almost as soon as I got home. I didn't sleep all that well last night, either.
I love both your hooks! The one you said needs work sounds pretty terrific to me. 8^) It's a keeper.
Karen
Yeah Karen, funny, I slept great the first night, but not well the second.
Thanks for the compliment on my hooks. I loved everyone's. Always fun to share.
Okay, so here's the other couple points that the article on hooks made that I meant to mention in this post:
You should forecast your ending in the beginning. Give a brief hint in the hook of how a story is to end. You'll create a story that comes full circle.
And the other point I liked, but left out is:
A quality story beginning is a miniature version of the whole work. If you craft the right hook, you've written a tiny version of the whole story.
Kind of gives us stuff to ponder, doesn't it?
I've already shared the hook of my latest ms. But I think, hope, pray that it does the above two things. Woo-hoo!!!! The coolest thing about that? I hadn't even read this article in Writer's Digest by Les Edgerton when I wrote it.
Here's a couple hooks from romance books, pulled at random from my shelves:
From Shirley Jump's The Angel Craved Lobster:
"One of the first things to greet Meridith Shordon to Boston was a man in a pair of Fruit of the Looms, playing a set of bongos."
And from Allison Brennan's Speak No Evil:
"Her death had not been easy."
Two very different hooks, but both grab the reader's attention, don't you agree? I admire both these authors, but have yet to read these particular books of theirs, so I don't know if these hooks follow the other "rules" ie: hint at the ending; are mini versions of the whole book. But I do know in both novels, the beginning lines introduce the voice of the story, and make a promise of the sort of book that follows.
Shirley Jump, who I've had the pleasure of lunching with -- "lunching with", sounds so Victorian or something, ha! -- writes fun, delightful romantic comedy. We know that just by reading the first paragraph, don't we?
On the other hand, Allison Brennan writes dark, romantic suspense. Again, her beginning hook makes that obvious.
Way to go, ladies!
As for the above two writers, Shirley Jump was the guest on the RWA loop AskAnAuthor series in February. Her topic was 'Taking a Book from Good to Sold in 10 steps'. She was very generous with information sharing, suggestions and offered numerous handouts. I was in the middle of revisions on my current manuscript, and got a lot out of it. You can probably find it in the RWA archives.
Allison Brennan is teaming up with Patti Berg (a muliti-pubbed romantic comendy author who has spoken at some of our chapter's conferences) this week to answer questions on that same loop. Their topic is 'No plotters allowed'. I'm looking forward to it since I can't plot and still stay interested in the story if my life depended on it!
Hello all! I'm back in Oregon - yay!
Anyway, what a great topic - your blog is adorable and my favorite hook is Karen's, "My cat is scared of my underwear." Maybe because I love the punch of ironic humor more than a lengthy description of some scene.
And that's probably why I'm such a fan of chick lit and other similar types of writing in women's fiction. I definitely want to read more so go with it and see where it leads!
Thanks, Kathy! I know it's bizarre, and there is a reason behind his being scared of my panties, LOL! My cat Teddy is arachnaphobic and to him my thong underwear look like a spider. Hard to believe a cat can be scared of spiders, but he is. He's afraid of bugs in general but is compelled to chase them anyway. He's very conflicted about this contradiction to his basic instincts, poor kitty. 8^) Sometimes I'll fling a pair at him just to see him jump. Snort.
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