Manly Men

There's nothing I hate more in a book than a hero who sounds like a woman. You all know what I'm talking about - those heroes female authors come up with, the ones who sound like "us"; who say the things "we" would say; who act like, well, "we" do. Come on, men are not women - Thank God, or the world would be really boring - and they don't think the way we do. They don't notice details like women do, they don't spend hours worrying about what others think of them, they speak plainly and don't play games, and sex for them is just that - sex. Sure, they fall in love, they feel deep emotions, but they don't spend hours analyzing those emotions like women tend to do.

So how do you know if you're writing a real man or your ideal-womanly-image of a man? The first thing you need to do is read your hero's internals and ask yourself if his thinking sounds like something a guy would say. Would Indiana Jones say it? What about Fox Mulder, or Ray Barone or James Bond or Jack Bauer or Han Solo or John McClane? All are manly men who were involved in one (or more) romances in their day. Even though it's an internal, you have to put yourself in a guy's shoes. Here's a good example. A few weeks ago I put on a pair of low-rise, flare, faded blue jeans and a ribbed, V-neck, olive green, button down sweater. I then asked my DH to describe what I was wearing. He came back with - tight jeans that show off your belly button and a green cleavage-shot sweater. See the difference? Men don't notice the little details women pick up on. When describing setting or characters in the male POV, err on the side of less-is-more. A guy might notice a woman's sparkling green eyes, but he wouldn't call them aquamarine or chartreuse or malachite (unless he's big into minerals). He'll relate things he sees to things he knows - for example, he might say her sparkling green eyes were the exact shade of the Green Monster in Fenway park, or (if he's rich) the deep green of a dollar bill or an exotic emerald. Keep your descriptions to a minimum when writing from the guy's POV.

The second thing to do is read your hero's dialogue outloud. Could you see your DH saying those same things? Your brother? If you're not sure, ask a guy to read it for you. He'll immediately tell you if you're on base or if you've totally missed the mark. Men get their point across in about half the amount of words women use to say the same thing. So when writing a guy, cut about fifty percent of the words you would use and you're on the right track. If you're inclined to have your guy say something like, "The situation is too dangerous. The sun's setting, your stalker's still out there somewhere, and you haven't slept in a week. It's just too risky to step outside even for a breath of fresh air." Instead try, "No way. You're not going anywhere on my watch." A man generally won't elaborate or give away information unless prodded.

Real men don't profess their love unless they're pretty sure they're going to get the same in return. I hate reading books where the hero's head-over-heels in love with the heroine and tells her right up front. Generally, men are cautious, keep things inside, don't say too much unless they absolutely have to. I've read some great books where the hero has come out and said they were going to marry the heroine right away, often in a comedic or overwhelming attraction sort of way, but the real emotions, the real words don't come until much much later. When they know the other person and are pretty sure the same will be returned, or unless for some reason they're desperate to get through to the other person and they think that's an acceptable risk. Be cautious about where you put that profession of love - too early and it won't be believable from a real guy.

Guys think about sex. There's no other way to say it. The first time they're with a woman, they aren't thinking about tomorrow or next week or forever by any means. They're thinking about right now and what happens as soon as they can get the woman's clothes off. I think this is one of the reasons you need to have more than one love scene in your books. The first is exploration - and let's say it plainly - generally it's all about sex, about touching and feeling and new sensations. The second should show the growth of the relationship, the building of emotions, the moment when one (or both) realize this other person is "the one". If it happens right away - no matter how emotional your hero is on the inside - it's not realistic for a guy. At least not any guy I know.

Of course, there are exceptions to these points, and it all depends on what kind of male you're writing. Betas are going to be more in-tune to their emotions, but really, how many beta males are there in romance novels? Do most women want a man who sounds and acts and thinks like a woman? Judging from the amount of Alpha male romances out there, I'd guess the answer to that question is no. Likewise, some men are talkers. I happen to be married to one. He can talk for hours about sports or work or politics. And that's okay. But he doesn't go on for hours about emotions, he doesn't analyze his feelings, and I can't get him to expand his horizons and gab about topics that are of no interest to him. So when writing a guy, figure out where his interests lie, and develop his character from there. He might be able to talk about college football for hours and hours even if all the heroine does is nod her head now and then and pretend to listen. In that instance, the whole 'men use less words than women' rule doesn't apply.

So here's the question(s) of the day: How do you write believable men? What tricks do you use to keep your guys from sounding like girls?

And here's the exercise for Monday: The hero and heroine from your current wip walk into a strip club. Write a paragraph describing what your heroine sees. Write another paragraph describing what your hero sees. Share with the rest of us. Looking forward to reading what you all come up with!