Eric Witchey, our October speaker, gave us some good information on how to use setting to evoke tone, mood, and place. I want to share with you how to use it to show the reader where in time they are.
For those of you who read my blog, you know I was a tidbit disgruntled over a submission I received at The Wild Rose Press. It was sent to the Cactus Rose line as a western, but there were so many things within the setting that were not easily discernable as to the time to tell if it really was a western.
So, I decided to show you how to make your setting show your place in time.
1) The dust circled, causing a small whirlwind of grit and dung to swirl about the carriage and enter the small confines. The male passengers raised lace handkerchiefs to their noses as the women fluttered fans.
2) The dust circled, causing a small whirlwind of grit and dung to swirl about the wooden, spoke wheels of the wagon. Horses nickered and tugged on the leather tethering them to the hitching post. A strong wind flapped the saloon doors as the clientele hunkered behind the bar and waited for the storm to hit.
3) The dust circled, causing a small whirlwind of dirt to swirl around him as he once again tried to start the automobile. His arm ached from wrenching on the crank. He wrapped the scarf around the lower half of his face and grasped the cold crank handle. Scrunching his face against the particles in the air and bracing for the strain, he gave the wretched piece of metal one more turn.
4) The dust circled, causing a small whirlwind of dirt to coat his newly waxed Ferrari. He punched a button, and the radio blasted to life warning all residents to head to the nearest emergency shelter.
Now, I know this seems simple enough. If you are writing about a certain time period it should come through in your writing. But what if:
The dust circled, causing a small whirlwind of grit to swirl about the wheels. Horses nickered and tugged on the rope tethering them to the post. A strong wind flapped the doors as the clientele hid inside.
Where in time and place does this put you? It's adding the little things and making sure they are right for your time and place that grounds the reader in your story.
So, can you guess the time periods of the four paragraphs above?
11 comments:
Pati--Let's see, can't give you dates, but let's say long ago for the carriage scene (I keep seeing Victorian times.) Then we have the west and again, I don't know dates. (There's a reason I write contemporary.) Then we have early 1900s. My mom was born in 1916 and she recalls their first car with fond memories. And then we have the present.
I offer one more:
The dust circled, causing a small whirlwind of sanitized soil replacement to plug the intake valve on the EZ-1000. The jet pack was fresh out of the carton, newly delivered from Mars. He'd been looking forward to giving it a spin. What was wrong with the weather moderator? Was there actually going to be a storm? He'd read about them in the history books and he had to admit a certain curiosity as well as a smidgen of fear.
Thanks for a fun blog!
Alice
1) I see as being a Victorian.
2) Definetely a western.
3) I see this as being a 1950's story. Alternatively, this could work for a contemporary western/small-town feel.
4) Present, slightly futuristic feel.
What I find interesting is what the same setting says about the characters in each:
1) Our hero is definetely not present yet. He's not going to be dabbing his nose with a hankie. Our heroine is likely observing the scene with distain/concern.
2) Something is about to happen. Maybe the heroine arrives in the middle of the storm.
3) This reads like literary fiction. Our character may not have a romance, or if he does, this scene doesn't have the anticipation of the first two scenes. This might be post-black moment or a secondary character.
4) Definetely romantic/slightly futuristic suspense. For some reason, I get a villan vibe of this dude. Is he going to use the storm to do something bad? Here as with the first two, tension feels like it is rising. What kind of person drives a freshly-waxed ferrari? I like to think about that in relation to setting/details as well.
GREAT Post Paty!!
Wavybrains brought up a lot of interesting points!
Alice
Alice, loved your furturistic! I didn't even think of that. When I write my mind is either 1800's to WWII or nothing! LOL
The first one was Late 1600's early 1700's (Becky may set me right on this when the men used hankies and women fans)
Second, yes, 1800's western. My fave!
Third was early 1900's not 1950's Wavy brains. They were past the crank stage when I came along! LOL
The fourth current times.
I liked your thoughts on each one Wavy!
What kind of person drives a freshly-waxed ferrari?
CLEARLY #4 is set in the 1980s and the man driving this particular vehicle is Magnum PI. However, it needs a little more detail:
4) Dust circled around him like a vortex, causing a small whirlwind of dirt to coat his newly waxed red 308 GTS Ferrari. Zeus and Apollo were in rare form, and if it were up to him the'd be shark bait. Wonder if Higgins would notice if he laced their supper with strychnine? Dusting off the grime from his tropical print shirt, he punched a button on the dashboard. The radio blasted to life with his catchy theme song, and he bopped his head to the tune, already feeling better about his day. Above him, the palms waved in the wind indicating the coming storm. It'd be a doosie. He needed to book it to the King Kamehameha Club before it hit. Rick had a lead on a blond that was right up his alley.
LOL Eli. Love it.
Eli--Someone has been watching reruns! LOL!
Alice
who still has no email and feels shut out from the world. Why don't I have anyone's phone number!!! (except Genene's!)
*Sigh* Sadly, not, Alice. But there's something about just the thought of Magnum that always gets my juices flowing. Must be the "stash". LOL
I wasn't thinking Magnum (Tom), at least not consciously! LOL I love his mischievous grin.
Great input from everyone!
Great post, Paty. Good use of details to show era. I'm not going to play the guessing game because I already read the answers.
Magnum. Mmmm. Tom is one of my all time favorite movie dudes. I used to keep an 8x10 framed glossy of him in my utility room. It made doing the laundry so much more pleasant.
Wow, we really got off subject here. And Alice, you do have my phone number....
Danita (using this as an email site because you know why) I do have your number! Huzah!
Alice
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