
Today we're lucky to have Berkley author
Lisa Hendrix with us! If you happened to make it to the last MWV RWA meeting, you got to hear Lisa speak in person. If not, you're in for a special treat. Lisa writes paranormal historical romances, and her Immortal Brotherhood series is on the road to doing very well. Book One, Immortal Warrior, started the series last fall, and Book Two, Immortal Outlaw, launches next week!
Please help me in welcoming Lisa Hendrix!
***
Cease and DesistCurrent project: Immortal Champion (Book III)
Status: Behinder (as in "The hurrier I go, the behinder I get.")

I had a terrific idea for this guest post. I was going to write about the animals in my real life, segué to the were-beasts in my Immortal Brotherhood series, and tie it all up neatly in a discussion of Animal Magnetism, both the original concept and today's meaning of raw sexual charisma and how to use the concept to juice up your own heroes, animal or not.
Summarized like that, I though it sounded pretty good--different, at least, and perhaps useful and entertaining. I figured that with such a thorough idea of where I was going (unusual when I sit down to blog), I could bang the piece out, complete with research links, in a couple of hours.
Not.
I worked at it on and off all day yesterday. I researched. I linked. I revised and reshaped and revisited the germ of the idea to push it further. And at 1 am today I had...a piece of crap.
Now, Nora often says you've gotta give yourself permission to write crap, and it's a concept I believe in. While I'm writing, I have a file called Junk Drawer where all the crap I churn out resides before it is finally and forever erased. But when you've got a blog post due, that pile of pixels in the Trash bin is no consolation. So at 1:05 am, I finally admitted I had gone off track somewhere and I went to bed thinking it would all be clear this morning. It wasn't. At this point, I'm not sure it every will be, but I still have this post to get to Elisabeth (remembering the S this time), so I did what every good writer does when s/he doesn't know what to do: anything else.
In this case, the procrastinatory activity was shopping. To be fair, it was necessary shopping—my daughter's 8th grade class is having their end of year luau today, and they needed more junk food—but it did involve spending money, which is always therapeutic (as are the dark chocolate bars that somehow ended up in the cart...) I also had a face-to-face with dd's principal—does anyone else have to mutter "The principal is your PAL" every time they type that word?--about a series of potentially worrying incidents that might or might not reveal some over-zealous policing by certain staff (e.g., one woman grilled my daughter intently about a T-shirt graphic she thought might be a gang sign. I'm sorry, but anyone who works in a middle school should recognize the World Wildlife Federation panda bear, don't you think?).
Anyway, the distractions, the shopping, and the chocolate worked their magic. As I was driving home, listening to some guy talk about yoga on the local NPR station, I suddenly knew what my subject is. Really. I do have a subject. All this wandering has a point, and that point is that there is a lesson in all that angst over the Animal Magnetism post, a lesson I have to review every now and again (more often than I'd like):
Sometimes you've just got to walk away.
It's a tough thing to do, especially when you're sure it's a good idea, when you've put a lot of time or invested your heart in the project, when you know it could be a terrific piece, if only you can get it right. It's easy to convince yourself that it would be a waste of time to throw all that work away. It's overwhelming to think you have to start over with an empty file and a brand new concept. Really, just a little more work...
I've written at least half-a-dozen proposals that went nowhere. That's full proposals, synopsis and three chapters, all written after I was a published author, that just didn't have the magic. I could probably have pounded each one into a salable form -- and to be honest, there are a couple that I think still may pay off, just as I think that at some point that Animal Magnetism post will see the light of day. But at the time, they hadn't fermented enough, were beyond my skills, whatever. I don't know why, but they wouldn't work. I struggled too hard with the writing, and they came out as crap and remained that way no matter what I did. To keep my sanity and stay on any kind of career path, I had to walk away from them.

The hard part, of course, is knowing when the crap is the kind Nora is talking about, the kind that's just your brain sorting out the story, or when it's the kind that just draws you under like quicksand and suffocates you. The stuff I was writing yesterday was the latter kind; it just plain sucked. If the time ever comes that I feel the need to revisit the Animal Magnetism idea, I will not go back to what I had. In fact, the file is going into Trash as soon as I hit save on this one. When the time comes, I'll start over from scratch, just like I did this morning with this new topic.
And guess what? This only took me 30 minutes to write. It may be crap, too, but it's Nora style crap, the good kind. Something that can be polished 'til it shines.
But I'm late, so I'm sending it out this way. Like my son, graduating from high school next week, it may not be quite ready for the world, but it has a spirit I like, and so I'm letting go.
Have you ever had to walk away from a project? How did you know that it was time, and that your weren't just being chicken?