Friday, November 09, 2007

Thinking Cap Time

Okay, girlies. This is all in fun. To get your brains working and your fingers flying. Consider this your warm-up exercise for the day.

Directions are simple: Read what I've posted, read each of the comments before yours (if any) and add to the story. Sort of a "choose your own adventure" exercise. LOL. Can't wait to see how this turns out. If you feel the desire to add again during the day, go for it!!

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Antoinette stared down at the package in her hands and choked back the urge to hurl the whole thing at the hunky UPS man on her doorstep. She had a whole list of things brown could do for her today but none included the mystery box she was currently holding.

"You'll have to sign for that, ma'am." Mr. Hunk-and-a-half flashed her a sparkling grin as he handed over the electronic contraption and stylus.

Ma'am. Holy crap. He'd just called her ma'am! Sure, she'd answered the door with a towel wrapped around her head and the rest of her hidden behind her biggest, pinkest, fluffiest bathrobe but that didn't grant her ma'am status. She was thirty-three for crying out loud, not eighty!

With a frown she didn't try to hide, she took the stylus and scribbled her signature across the screen, hopefully in the wrong spot. Okay, the hunk-o-meter arrow had just dropped significantly into the mildly attractive category, bordering on jackass. There went all those late night delivery fantasies. How much crappier could her day get?

"Thanks." He winked then turned and headed off for his ugly truck like he hadn't just committed the most heinous sin of all.

Antoinette shot him one last withering glare, stepped back into the house and flicked the door shut with her bare foot. Her black cat, Hades, slinked around her feet as she moved. Only when she was alone in her foyer did she remember the package in her hand. She looked down and glowered. No return address but she knew exactly who it was from.

She'd been wrong. Her day could definitely get crappier.

"Meeeowwrr??"

"My thoughts exactly, Hades. I'm going to kill him for this." Jaw clenched, she stalked into the kitchen with Hades tight on her heels. The tiny bell around his neck tinkled as he moved. He jumped from floor to chair to tabletop with barely a sound as she set the package on the wooden surface. With both eyes closed she took one deep breath and ripped the package open. She fumbled with the cardboard ends and only when she had the box open did she pry one eyelid free so she could peer inside.

Then frowned.

"Oh, he's definitely going to pay for this," she muttered.

Fishnet stockings, four-inch stilettos, pink fuzz-covered handcuffs and a tiny tube of lipstick which was anything but what it resembled. Just once she'd like to see him dress up in all this garbage while she sat back and watched from the shadows. Why did having boobs automatically volunteer her for every lousy assignment on the planet?

"I'm not doing it. No way, no how. He can't make me."

She slammed the cardboard lid closed and was just about to toss the whole thing into the garbage pail when a harsh knock sounded at her back kitchen door.

11 comments:

Alice Sharpe said...

It would be him. He would want to gloat. He would want to see her squirm as she shook the stilettos and handcuffs and all the rest out of the box, and then maybe he'd want a private fashion show.

Well, he wouldn't get it.

She opened the door without the usual precautions. Hades spat as the man in the doorway aimed a shotgun at her head. She could practically feel pieces of her flesh ricocheting off the gleaming kitchen appliances.

"Okay, Sweetie," the UPS man said. "Let's go."

Hades sprang from the drainboard, morphing into a Ninja warrior as he hit the linoleum with a resounding thud, morphing into six feet of fierce male protector ready to strike at her would be assailant.

The UPS man blasted him.

She stepped forward to catch his bloody body as the UPS man plunged a syringe into her arm.

Paty Jager said...

Yipes! I have to take care of family for a few hours and Alice goes.... well I'm not sure but this doesn't sound like the Alice I know and love. LOL

The haze lifted. Antoinette, tried to ease the ache in her arms, but the fuzzy handcuffs proved sturdier than they looked. Flashes of the morning pulled her from her drug induced haze. The UPS hunk would pay for this.

A weak shaft of line sliced across her face. It was moonlight. She smiled. That's all she needed to take revenge. Chanting an age old curse, she heard the moans of her assailant as the curse took hold. Repeating another, the hand cuffs opened and she levitated from the hard cot. Looking around the room, she wiped Hades blood from her body, taking care to keep it in her hands. She puffed a renewing breath on it and her lover sprang to life.

Alice Sharpe said...

LOL, Paty, what a save!

Danita Cahill said...

"For the love of Hades, woman, I thought you'd never get me back in action," the ninja complained. "I don't care what anyone says, ninja-warlock or mortal, getting blasted with a bullet smarts." The dark, lithe man grimaced and rubbed his chest before stooping to untie the rope that bound Antoinette's ankles.

He swept off the gag that forced Antoinette's tongue into silent submission. She opened her mouth to speak and Hades pressed his own against her lush lips and forced her sweet tongue to submit to his.

Antoinette gasped and pulled away from his prying tongue. "This is hardly the time."

Hades gave her a crooked grin and grabbed her hand. "Come on, Ma'am, let's get out of here."

Antoinette kicked him in the shin before they both pushed their way out the exit and into a path of danger.

Alice Sharpe said...

okay, Eli, so what's in the lipstick tube.

Genene said...

Oh, you ladies are good! I'll try to wrap this up since it's now early Saturday morning and I'm assuming you are all smarter than me and have gone to bed, which is where I'm going as soon as I post this! (Though maybe someone wants to keep this going...)

... Mr. Tall, Brown and Dangerous had arrived at a rendezvous. Three other ugly brown trucks were parked in a semi-circle around a bonfire. The flames crackled at Antoinette's stilettos as she stepped from the back of the truck.

Where was that tube of lipstick?

Three glowing red pairs of eyes turned her direction as she fumbled with the cap.

The former Mr. Tall, Brown & Dangerous slithered from the truck, hissing at her and flicking his forked tongue. He did not seem amused at his transformation.

"You might want to hurry," Hades commented as the glowing red eyes moved closer amid the leaping flames, and the chanting around them became louder and louder.

"The damn cap is stuck." Antoinette gave one final yank at the cap on the lipstick tube. Go-go gadget flying scooter! "Let's go!"

Antoinette revved the scooter's engine as Hades slid onto the seat behind her and slipped his arms around her waist.

As they blasted away through the forest, the flames flashed one last time and then abruptly died in a pile of gray ashes, leaving the forest as quiet and empty as it had been when the evening mists settled among the trees.

Alice Sharpe said...

ooh, nice Genene!

Genene said...

Hey, Alice! How is your word count today? Since weekends are when I usually have time to check the blog and that's usually when there are no new blogs, I really look forward to your updates. Hope your fingers are smokin' across the keyboard!

Paty Jager said...

Did this story take a bizarre turn or what?? LOL This was fun Eli!

Elisabeth Naughton said...

ROFLMAO. You ladies are gooooood. ;)

Thanks for playing along!

Alice Sharpe said...

It was fun, Eli. Thanks.